Sunday, February 22, 2009

Old Jobs, Old Faces

Saw my old boss in a communal dressing room at Loehmann's this evening.

This was the woman who tortured me, took advantage of me, used and exploited illegal immigrants, burned my fingers on my first day of work, had me run her entire business while she was in China for a week (and the rest of the time, unofficially), who consumed my life for many months back in 2004.

After being abused for a paycheck and learning how to source materials, do phone sales and do actual design work because she was a lazy, lousy drafter, I snapped one day. She called me a name and I got up from her desk and quit. I called her a few names and told her the IRS had been calling me about her. I walked out and threw the keys in her wretched face.

So tonight, when I saw her familiar twitch and heard her grunting to get into some pants....when I saw her reflection in the 360 mirror of the designer strip joint in Elmsford, NY.... I had the inclination to whip around and have a "look at me now" moment.

She tried to place my face. I observed her doing such as she gave up on the pants and slumped them next to her for the employees of Loehmann's to collect. She didn't say anything. If she knew who I was she must had seen that I was not 19 anymore, still loved metal and had been working out. She must have seen another one of the young girls she made stronger by teaching them how to organize and maintain two lives simultaneously (and drive around with her awesome dog hanging out the window- on loan of course- for the crack smacked streets where we had our factory).

I looked at her palsied hands and grey face and thought: "S on a D you B" but called my mother to reveal my thoughts of repulsion and admit my former stupidity for succumbing to the type of work a young girl takes when she is trying to get the start-up for tuition and is developing the guts to heave guttural cries of "FUCK YOUR LIFE LADY!"